WWJS?

[lsanderson]

Whenever I get into one of these complicated positions, I asks myself, "Self, what would Jesus say?" and Blam! Like a light from the sun, it strikes me! And, I hear Jesus speaking as if off from a distance, you know, not far enough that he has to shout and I have to strain to hear, but still off in the distance. And so I asked him, "What about voter ID laws, Jesus?" And Blam! He answered me.

"Just as I said in the Bible, put not your faith in God, my son, but put your faith in your photographic government ID card. It shows you the path of righteousness and makes it easy to identify you both when you vote, fly on a plane, and when you enter into heaven."

So ever since then, when I vote, when I fly, or when I'm in an accident on the highway, I firmly grasp my photographic government ID card, and I am comforted.

Now I hear them Mormons got some special underwear, and Jesus, ... And, Jesus, I swear I will give up drinking after this bottle.

Comments

[guppiecat]

If Jesus gave out photo ID's, he'd rename each person before they got theirs.

[mizzlaurajean.livejournal.com]

Jesus never talks to me.

Obvously

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

More Bourbon!

[also-huey.livejournal.com]

"Whenever I find myself confronting an ethical problem, I ask myself "What would Jackie Chan do?". Like, if I saw a bunch of big kids picking on a little kid, I would go to them and explain how violence never solves anything, and we should all try to get along. ...and if that didn't work, I'd kick all of their asses with, like, a stepladder or something."
--some comedian whose name I've forgotten, but I refuse to let that keep me from stealing their joke

w00t!

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

WooT!

[rymrytr.livejournal.com]

I want more input than just the Christian influence... where's Buddha, Mother Nature, Allah and the Evil One, himself?

[chanphenglew.livejournal.com]

In my land, only the Buddha has the right to give out ID cards. And he refuses to. Know yourself is the only ID necessary.