(no subject)

[lsanderson]

I tend to eat a lot at Subway. I used to always carry yogurt to work and eat that, but at some point, I stopped. Its allure left, soured, went south, whatever. So instead, I've fixated on Subway. They're everywhere; they're cheap enough; and if I go late enough, there's no waiting. Yes, their bread does suck, but so does every sandwich place except every Asian restaurant and grocery store in the city. Why they have nice crusty buns and no other sandwich shops do, I'll never know. You can wrap up an Asian crusty bun, stick it in the fridge over night, and it will still have some crust left the next day. I'm sure it is a miracle, but Subway can't do it even shortly out of the oven. Anyway, standing in line, the guy in front of me (I wasn't late enough) who was sneaking out a double sandwich, was clearly clueless although equally obviously had eaten at Subways before. He couldn't pick the bread. He couldn't pick the size of the bread. He couldn't pick the cheese. The guy behind the counter had to drag each piece of information out of him.

On my way back to the cubicle, I ranked the importance, order, and flow of ordering. I suspect I've been doing tech writing for too long.

Comments

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

I, pathetic, have done this too.

I've decided that it makes no difference if you ask for "whole wheat six inch" or "six inch whole wheat": the sandwich artist has to have both pieces of information before she can grab the bread for your sandwich. Next I say "no cheese", because that's the next step they deal with, and only after all that do I tell them what kind of sandwich I want: turkey.

Extra tomatoes (if they are good, but no tomatoes if they are narsty), lettuce, onion, cukes, green pepper, banana pepper, a few jalape~os, and mustard, just a little.

K. [that's my standard order]

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

Type of bread has hair over length, because they may begin getting it unless there's a 6-incher sitting there that you order... (OK, I'm waay too anal).

It's depressing when somebody orders that is clueless, however, especially if they're ahead of you in the line.

There was a customer at the Black Forest Inn who ordered a screwed-up Rubin. The customer did not like sauerkraut or some other main ingredient in a Rubin. I think one day a cook turned out enough "ruined" Rubin's to feed the whole kitchen. Around the sixth or seventh attempt (I wasn't on the line that day), I realized that if the waitress simply ordered a grilled corned-beef and swiss, all of the production problems would vanish. When you line cook, most of the work gets pushed down below the conscious brain. A Rubin with a hold on a major ingredient doesn't work, because the moment the cook's interest wavers, reflexes put the kraut on it. There may have been a slight difference in the price between the two sandwiches, but it was funny watching the gestalt triumph, no matter how many people tried to interfer with the reflex.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

I know exactly what you mean. "They wanted dry toast" was most often met with "Fuck you; we're too busy." Or some variation on that. (We always then made the toast, of course.) Some restaurants actually move the toaster to the waitron side of the window to solve this problem.

And yes, we used to feed the whole kitchen Ruebens, too.

K. [I think this automatic pilot behaviour is why some places put *all* their salad dressings on the side]

[90-percent-sure.livejournal.com]

Kitchen at Savories in Stillwater. It's sunday brunch, the place is packed, serious weeds. We served two things: Omlettes and waffles. 4 varities of omlette, sourdough made-to-order belgian waffles with 2 kinds of fruit compote.
Ken comes in with Will, who is little (high chair size) and who happened to have a scrambled egg *thing* at the time. I place an order for scrambled eggs. The kitchen, with a huge stove and 200 eggs all scrambled up, refused.
When I pointed out to them later that what I wanted was an small "nothing" omlette, they only glared at me.
How hard is it to think on your feet? Damn near impossible for most kitchen people.

Re:

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

The way to do that is to order a loose omlette and hack it up.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

My standard order is a 6-inch spicy Italian with vinegar (no oil), hot peppers, and pickles. Either that or a meatball and cheese, extra sauce. (The latter doesn't taste nearly as good, but sometimes I just want something hot.)

B

[90-percent-sure.livejournal.com]

What about the meatball and seafood salad sandwich? (Meatball and seafood! together at last!)
My other favorite Subway experience: the obese teenage boy who ordered a sandwich and instructed the sandwich dude to "keep putting mayonaise on it until I say stop"
He eventually reached his mayo threshold at what I'd guess to be about a measuring cups worth. Foot long, multi meat thing. Gack.

My standard is a 6inch/wheat/tuna. I like their tuna. Pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, banana peppers, S&P...Fritos and a Dr Pepper, too, if I'm feeling all kicky.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

I know someone who puts potato chips in her sandwich, but I've never seen anyone put Fritos in their sandwich. And I don't even want to think about what you do with the Dr. Pepper. (He's not a doctor, and he's not a pepper.)

B

[90-percent-sure.livejournal.com]

On the side, not in. In would be gross.

Dr Pepper? I drink it.

"Rhode Island. It's neither a road or an island. Discuss."

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

The original full name of the place was "Rhode
Island and Providence Plantation." Rhode Island was, indeed, an island. Providence Plantation was the rest of it. But the name was too long to fit onto a licence plate, so they dropped the rest of it.

B

[90-percent-sure.livejournal.com]

Damn you and your encyclopedic ways.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

My first girlfriend was from Rhode Island. She made me memorize that stuff.

B

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking about this comment for seven months now, and I still don't understand it.

B

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

I believe she is referring to the breadth, width and depth of your knowledge in a joshing manner.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Ah. Humor. Or irony. Or teasing.

Strange are the ways of the Cooper.

B

[jbru.livejournal.com]

There is a Subway that opened up two blocks (well, one block each way, so one block diagonally) from my house last year. This is dangerous, but also occasionally convenient.

My standard order is some kind of wacky bread (defaulting to wheat), footlong, turkey, swiss, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, mayo, oil, vinegar, salt, pepper.

Larry's pathetic person actually reminds me of my friend Bill Voss. Bill is a perfectly fine individual but is probably the most functionally autistic adult you'll meet. When faced with a decision of which of three kinds of salad dressing to get he'll respond with "whatever." That, in fact, is his response to many decision-point questions. When pressured, he'll not say anything and just shrug. Those of us that end up eating out with him have taken to filling out his orders for the waitrons lest we die of starvation while he's making up his mind.