An Open Letter to America from the Republican Leadership:

[lsanderson]

Dear America,

There has been much confusion about what our position is on the economic stimulus plan now making its way through Congress. Since President Obama made his case yesterday, we would like to make ours now in the interest of equal time. In a nutshell, our plan is streamlined and simple:

First and foremost: lizard marshmallow hat in the wicker basket goes nefarious.

Second: All couch fur in pothole will be goat cheese on a sliding scale. Pearls are carrots drill bit woodpecker equally.

Third: Monkey farts on the naval base gets pitched to solar backgammon limitations. If there are no arias being sung in Poughkeepsie the maple tree gets ranch dressing. Note: Stinky mop excites the trousers.

In the event of a cordless manhole cover, the Easter Bunny gets towel rack plus nuclear pudding.

Above all, lawn chairs will graze on the mixing bowls in toll baskets.

We hope this helps cut through the clutter to give you a better idea of what we as a party stand for---and have to offer the nation---in this most difficult time.

Sincerely,

Your Republican Party Leadership -- as seen by Bill in Portland Maine

Comments

[shsilver.livejournal.com]

I would be glad I wasn't drinking when I read that, except that I had a bite of scone, and choking really isn't a better option than spraying hot tea all over a monitor.

[supergee.livejournal.com]

And it makes sense to Joe the Plumber.