Intolerance

[lsanderson]

When Intolerance Becomes Intolerable
By MARCI ALBOHER

Many career shifts involve an “aha” moment. In Lisa Sherman’s case, the moment was not only the catalyst for a career change but also led her to tell her boss she was gay.

And her experience ultimately became memorialized in a case study for the Harvard Business School.

It all started in 1993 with a diversity training seminar at what was then Bell Atlantic, where Ms. Sherman was a vice president for marketing. She kept the fact that she was a lesbian to herself at work because, she said, she worried that being openly gay would derail her career. She was, by her own account, a master at what she calls the “black art of pronoun puppetry, substituting ‘him’ and ‘we’ for ‘her’ and ‘she.’ ”

During the seminar, participants were asked to write on flip charts, filling in the blanks on a variety of sentences: “Blacks are ...,” “Asians are ...,” “Jews are. ...” Ms. Sherman said that many of the answers reflected certain stereotypes. But when she got to the page with gay people on it, she said that seeing the words written by her colleagues literally made her sick. “Pathetic,” “perverse” and “immoral” were among the ones she recalls. Some were written by people she had worked with for 15 years, many of whom she considered to be friends. More

Comments

[jmanna.livejournal.com]

Not to pull a 'What about meeeee' as the subject is specifically about something people don't have a choice in, but...but...this reminds me a lot of the fact I do not tell people I'm an Atheist. People are more comfortable with the idea of me 'not being a church goer' or being 'not very religious' then being Atheist. I won't ever tell people at work. I won't ever have Atheist bumper stickers on my car or buttons on my coat and backpack. I lie about my plans for Christmas and Easter. I could be strong and tell people but it causes social turmoil that would affect my work environment and whether or not I can pay my rent, so I'm a coward by choice and hide what I believe.

My problems are far from those that a gay person might face as I have a choice. I chose to be Atheist. No one is born with a genetically ingrained belief system. But then someone's choices in life should not effect their results in most workplaces so they shouldn't have their ability to work judged on these lifestyles either.

Si

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

There are those times when sitting there praying for Jesus to save you when a tornado's bearing down on your religious ass that getting up and moving to the basement is a lot smarter. It's called diversity.

Re: Si

[jmanna.livejournal.com]

Atheism is pricklier then that. To a large number of people, Atheism equals 'I hate you for having a belief system and want to take it away from you forever'. For the sake of honesty my belief is more like 'I think your belief system is silly and potentially harmful when you apply it to other people's choices'. But still, to many, Atheism means 'I hate you and your belief system'. There is a gentle bit of irony in people discriminating against Atheist because they believe that person is discriminating against them for having a belief system. Really, to me, it's about choices. I think religion applied to a social structure or to a legislative intent is harmful because it assumes that everyone would make the same choice to follow a particular doctrine. This robs them of the choice because they’re being compelled to follow that doctrine through legislation or social pressure. But the same individuals who think nothing of forcing someone to follow their doctrine of choice through legislation or social pressure seem to also be those that scream the loudest about ‘discrimination’ when someone says that their choice might not be the best choice or the only choice.

Re: Si

[jmanna.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I kinda went off like a PETA activist in front of a store selling fur coats. Sorry about that.

Re: Si

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

No problem. I'm not religious.

Re: Si

[jmanna.livejournal.com]

But you're still human so you probably get bored reading someone's commentary on their navel gazing. Then again, you do have an LJ.

[marahsk.livejournal.com]

My problems are far from those that a gay person might face as I have a choice. I chose to be Atheist. No one is born with a genetically ingrained belief system.

But deep down, you believe what you believe (or disbelieve, as the case may be). You couldn't really decide that, starting now, you're going to believe in, say, Buddism.

People do sometimes change what they believe in, but I think it's more a matter of realizing what they believe in than actively choosing it.

Welcome to the thread that wouldn't die...

[jmanna.livejournal.com]

But deep down, you believe what you believe (or disbelieve, as the case may be). You couldn't really decide that, starting now, you're going to believe in, say, Buddhism.

I would disagree and say that Atheism is an active, reasoned choice that I made after experimenting and investigating belief systems and decided not only did I think they are all silly but some are even harmful.

Hold on a moment, I need to put on my soap-box shoes.

Right then.

To me Atheism is an ongoing active choice in everything I do. I don't believe in Unicorns or tarot readings or tiny, glitter-farting, flying people. Numerous times a day, as a reasoned thinker, I consider the validity of everything presented to me. I have found much of faith and mysticism to be excuses to harm other people. I think what makes me such a staunch Atheist is the utter outrage at the stupid reasons people make up to hurt each other.

I think Atheism requires actively making choices numerous times a day after thinking in a reasoned matter. Your theory that this choice was mystically ingrained in my psyche is the opposite of what I have reasoned as the right way to live. I think everyone, if they just thought hard enough and weighted all the evidence, would be Atheist too. Sounds a lot like proselytizing, I know. But the difference is I think belief, or lack thereof, is a decision. And because it is a decision, the decision maker is responsible for all the good and bad of the situation and therefor can be found at fault for making a very poor decision. Even if your theory is more that belief in a particular faith is genetically ingrained it still makes me uncomfortable. It presents an idea that someone who is horribly bigoted because of their belief system can claim they had no choice in the matter. The tenets of their faith, no matter how negative, are just part of their basic nature.

Affection for whimsy is certainly a human trait. But how we chose to act in regards to the unexplained is the difference between being animals that kill for each other sport and reasoned thinkers.

*sits down and starts to take off her soap box shoes*

[boywhocantsayno.livejournal.com]

It all started in 1993 with a diversity training seminar at what was then Bell Atlantic...

Another reason I'm glad I'm Canadian... my ex and I were married in February 1993. I walked into a job interview in September 1992 and asked, "Will my same-sex partner get spousal benefits?" The response I got was, "I don't see why he wouldn't."

Gosh...

[lsanderson.livejournal.com]

Does that mean you're a gay divorcee? ;-)

Re: Gosh...

[boywhocantsayno.livejournal.com]

One could say that. :P

Though he completely failed to mention ever having been married before in the book he wrote with his second husband a couple of years ago. (I would have picked up a copy just to see how he told the story about how they met, but that would have entailed spending money that would end up in his pocket, and he got enough of my money while we were married.)

Not that I'm bitter. ;)