"Dap supreme"

The Supreme Court ruled last week in one of those fascinating moments in the annals of American stupidity where something that for entire generations we just assumed everyone already knew because the alternative was just insanely stupid had to actually be clarified because apparently there were a lot more insanely stupid people around than we thought. In this case, it was the blindingly obvious notion that when you capture someone because you think they did something bad, you actually at some point have to prove that they did the bad thing, and- gasp!- the people you accused of doing the bad thing might actually want to try and prove they didn't.

Detractors to the Court's ruling, which we'll refer to as, for the lack of the actual scientific term, idiots, are now weeping and gnashing teeth over this horrific snag in America's plan to hold a few hundred people hostage in Cuba forever because we're, you know, pretty sure they're evildoers, claiming this provides some kind of instant freedom to terrorists. More